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7 Lies to Stop Kids from Jumping on Furniture

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Furniture,furniture protection,warranties

We’ve all been there, and we all know the truth – jumping on furniture is downright fun (and jumping off of it is even more fun) – but how do we keep kids from doing it?

Generally speaking, we tell big, fat lies, but we’d like to massage that message a little bit with some sugar and creativity. So, here are some things you can tell your kids to keep them from jumping on the furniture – even while you’re not looking:

1. It will short out the Wi-Fi.

This actually sounds kinda scientific, which is why it works. Link furniture-jumping to no-Internet-having and the next thing you know your couch is in the Smithsonian due to its pristine condition and advanced age.

2. It will scare the monsters out from underneath.

Use this one sparingly as it can have a negative effect at bedtime – although that “negative effect” definitely won’t be them jumping on their beds.

3. There are spider eggs in the cushions that will hatch.

There’s really no way to tell if this even a lie. Good luck getting to sleep tonight.

4. Santa is watching.

Obviously, this is going to work better during the holiday season when Santa is watching really close, but you can turn up the wattage by telling them that Santa is always watching really close. Why not, right?

5. There are cameras everywhere.

Once again, this is a powerful tool that should be used with caution. Paranoia is a heartbreaking trait in children and can lead to some pretty big psychiatrist bills in the future.

6. New furniture means less (fill in the blank).

This is another one of those vague truisms that can be framed in very effective ways. “If I have to buy a new recliner we won’t be able to have dessert for the next four years.” Say that with a cookie in your hand and feel the power of allegiance.

7. Tell the Tom Cruise couch-jumper story.

Drawing this parallel should probably scare you more than them, but it can still work on the random kid who has yet to experience Maverick’s fall from grace. Translation: You don’t get to be Top Gun if you’re jumping on couches.

ATGStores.com hopes no one will be driven to such drastic measures to keep their sofas safe from shoe sabotage.

No-Jump Rating for the "Miramar" from American Drew: 6/10.

No-Jump Rating for the "Melody" from Whiteline Imports (in white leather): 11/10.

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